clearing the cobwebs

it's been quite a while. almost half a month, i see.

thirteen days. what has happened in thirteen days?

students have marched in their commencement exercise. teachers have gone on break. relatives have gone to rediscover their roots. friends have been momentarily set aside. the summer season has been welcomed. a relationship tempered.

-we interrupt this blog entry to bring you breaking news!-

a nationalistic song has actually been produced. it deviates from the traditional communist-sounding themes of revolution and reformation. it's a song rendered by an artist who is proud to be pinoy. i highly recommend this song to anyone who feels that his or her feelings about the country are dimishing and need some rekindling.

NOYPI
Bamboo

tingnan mo ang iyong palad
kalyado mong kamay
sa hirap ng buhay
sa dami mong problema
nakuha mo pang ngumiti
noypi ka nga
astig

saan ka man naroroon
'wag kang matatakot
sa baril o patalim
sa bakas na madilim

*chorus*
hoy
pinoy ako
buo aking loob
may agimat ang dugo ko
hoy
pinoy ako
may agimat ang dugo ko

sinisid ko ang dagat
nilibot ko ang mundo
nasa puso ko pala
ang hinahanap kong kulo
ilang beses nakong muntikang namatay
alam ko ang sikreto
kaya't nandito pa't buhay

sabi nila may anting-anting ako
pero di nila alam na diyos ang dahilan ko

*chorus*

dinig mo ba ang bulong ng lahi mo
isigaw mo kapatid ang himig natin

*chorus*

-we now return you to the original broadcast-

speaking of nationalism, i came across an article a couple of weeks ago about a group of young fil-ams who heavily research on tribal tatoo patterns across the archipelago.

i can't seem to find an online version on the inquirer website. seems they haven't made online archives of the later news items.

at any rate. can you imagine sporting tatoos that would rival any wwe wrestler's? tribal tatoos, at that. no images of mjolnir, dragons, snakes or naked women on harleys. just simple semi-arabesque, semi-'bravestar' style tatoos all over your torso. now that's nationalism.

according to one of the group's members, they do it to promote their own culture: that of the filipino. while most filipinos i know don't even consider having a tatoo, i actually am very proud of these men and women who are virtual poster children of the culture that is slowly being lost to us, in the name of industrialization. sad, no?

exhilaration

this afternoon, a milestone happened. i actually got my first table win. (note: if you don't understand, go learn v:tes. if you do understand, i'll tell you all about it. leave a comment.)

anyhoo, the past few days have been quite a drag. the students are gone, and i'm starting to miss them. i actually can't believe that the schoolyear's over and that in a few months, i'll be back on stage … er … on the platform of the classroom to teach.

by then, the 260+ students i have taught will either be in college, out of school, or otherwise gone from the high school. it will be quite a change not hearing the frequent greetings of those hulking masses of misplaced testoserone (except for the few who are just masses of testosterone. ).

it's a wonder how i survive each day with nothing to do. i've submitted my requirements to the respective offices, met with those who have to be met, been helpful to some others who need help, and still i am bored. i guess i have to clean my cubicle starting tomorrow.

bring on the paper shredder!

crunch time (rant)

it's tuesday. grades are due this afternoon. i'm not yet done in at least 3 components. do the math. (clue: s t _ e s s)

in the midst of a gaggle of young men i was trapped. i had to postpone work in order to settle myself. now that they're gone, i am hyped up. i have to calm down. any morphine available?

my coffee cup is getting cold.

from antipolo to tagaytay

this pretty much sums up my weekend.

other such phrases that describe the days are:

• "quality time"
• papemelroti home
• isaw, hotdog and balun-balunan + san mig light
• prayer
• reflection
• indecision
• motherly former faculty-now-colleague
• antipolo-katipunan-tagaytay
• mama mary for company
• [anything] + M = *sigh*
• wild vines strawberry zinfandel + vodka ice = the new world of alcohol
• jamming like there's no tomorrow
• bedtime at 5:30am
• waking up at 8:00am
• pancake house, starbucks, ilog maria honeybee farm in the morning
• dencio's for lunch
• two hours to home
• knocked out

in short, amazing.

on funerals

yesterday found me at the cemetery, honoring my grandma (my dad's dad's sister) who passed away last tuesday.

as expected, there were family members who couldn't help but shed tears for her. after all, for the longest time, she was the matriarch of our extended family (for all 150+ of us).

while the pastor (yes, she was a "born again christian") said a few words about her, i remembered a thought that always found its way into my mind whenever i'd go to a wake or a funeral.

funerals do squat for the dead. i firmly believe in this. while i believe that funerals and wakes are there to let us honor the dead as a community, i also believe that it does nothing for or to them. rather, it is for the remaining people. who cares if you shed a thousand tears for your dead relative? it will do nothing for his/her afterlife. who cares if you say so many good things about him/her? it will do nothing. funerals and wakes are for the living.

they are rituals to help the living accept the fact that the dead are no longer around. that there will be one less person to share stories with, to invite over to dinner, to run to for comfort. if we have hurts, then, as the pastor said, it is a time to accept god's forgiveness and grace, since we can never ask for the person's forgiveness anymore. at death, all is forgiven.

i am reminded of a line i read somewhere: pray for the living. true. aren't those who are living the ones who can make a difference? if the deceased left a sorrowful world, then it is up to the living that they will be leaving a better and brighter world for the next generations.

epilogue: we visited our great-grandparents' graves soon after, and then to our family's plot. yes, believe it. there are 14 of us (2 grandparents, an uncle and an aunt with 5 kids, my parents with 3 kids) and yet all are still alive and kicking. i already have a spot waiting for me at the cemetery. creepy? not really. assuring? most definitely. though i might not have a need for a spot. i'm thinking of having a funky wake and funeral …