just now i receive an email from a cousin about a link to me. now that's an old blog i've forgotten i had! darn it. so here i am, about to re-post an old entry. may its message bring you reflections beyond your imagination.
[originally posted 24.07.2002]
Sometimes it takes a shocking event just to wake us up from our dreary day to day lives. Just tonight, the experience of death jarred me from my comfortable environment and made me travel into the realms of metaphysical and physical thought.
The questions surrounding death have all been asked ever since the beginning of time and up until now, there is no one answer that satisfies everyone. Why did she die? If there is a God, why did He let this happen? What will happen to those left? With married couples, the question eventually leads to love. We promised each other that whoever dies, the other one will lie down in the grave first to catch the deceased one and we will both be buried together. Strange, you say? It just happened.
During the last weekend of January of this year, a couple of friends and I went to Cabangan, Zambales for our immersion in the class Theology of Liberation. The whole idea of the trip was to make students aware of the social conditions surrounding members of the same society we live in. To make a long story short, this group of friends eventually made ties at the area that have been sustained by several (voluntary) visits, letters, tours and dialogues with the people of the area, especially those who took us in for the three days of our trip.
One particular couple whom we all found endearing was known affectionately as "Tatay Hari" (King Dad) and his wife, whom I know only as "Nanay". Tatay Hari always had that ready smile that belied his 67+ years of life, and Nanay, silent as she was, was always ready to care for her grandchildren and any of the kids who happened to be at her house at meal times.
About a 2 weeks ago, Nanay fainted on the way down from the mountain while gathering fruits. Two other women who were with her at the time carried her to the nearby hospital and after spending some three hours in it (which we have reason to believe did little more than let her breath pure oxygen), she died. Tatay Hari was not the same after, says Kuya Ubit (who went there about a week ago).
"At first glance, Tatay seemed pretty much ok, having that winning smile all the time. However if you look into his eyes, you can see that he has lost a lot in the death of Nanay. He has lost all hope. He even tried to get into the pit where Nanay was to be buried in order to fulfill a promise, that whoever dies first will be caught by the still living partner and that they shall be buried together. It took some explaining to him that such a thing was not proper, since he still had children to look after, among other things. He has given away all his land for his children to take care of, for he has forsaken the life of a farmer without his ever-reliable partner. When I left, I had to turn away and just go, since there was nothing I could say to him to make him feel even just a little bit better. I was on the verge of tears myself," Kuya Ubit narrates.
True love indeed exists, even in arranged marriages (as was the case of Nanay and Tatay). Sometimes it takes a tragedy, such as death, for us to see it, and be inspired by its beauty. May you all be inspired by the beauty around you. Mono no aware.
